What’s the best advice you’d give to other Christian couples that are dating, or to the ladies and men in waiting?

When I met Phillip, I was not looking for a husband, praying for a husband, or even dreaming about a husband, however unbeknownst to me, I was already in preparation to become a wife, and he a husband. Prior to making my move to Texas four years ago, I was overcome with an intense desire to be a better Christian woman. I became very intentional about my relationship with God and dedicated a lot of my personal time to learn how to effectively communicate with God through prayer and studying his word. I dedicated my first hours of the day to prayer. Rising early in the morning and petitioning my life desires to God, while also asking him to open my heart so that I could hear from him and understand when my life desires were not in alignment with where he was leading me. The second part of that prayer was that I would learn to be okay with his no’s or not yet, or even his yes’ even when that wasn’t really the response I was hoping for. Because of those intimate moments that I spent with God, when Phillip came into my life, although I mentioned I was not looking for a husband, I was able to receive him.

Now the gag is, I’m not going to tell you that I didn’t fight against the possibilities of this man being my future husband because I did. I actually tried to pray him out of my life! At the time, I thought me and the man upstairs were on the same page when I had come to the conclusion that a husband was not in my future, but what he could bless a sister with was a promotion that came with a corner office! Funny thing is, I just realized I got both, the corner office (literally), and the husband, which further shows how we sometimes have these limiting ideas about our life not realizing that Gods plan for us is so much bigger…if we trust him..completely!

Thankfully, because I chose to let God lead me and not lead myself..you know how we like to do sometimes, I didn’t miss out on my blessing and Phil didn’t become someone else’s husband! And because of his relationship with God, and his ability to see where God was calling him to step up and walk into his purpose (becoming a husband), he didn’t change his behavior to match the energy that I was putting out. Here’s the message, your blessing, and this is not just about relationships, may not come when you think you’re ready. You may be working on a completely different goal in life-like I was, or maybe you don’t even believe that you are deserving of a  husband or a wife, or maybe the blessing that God is trying to bless you with doesn’t look like what you thought it was supposed to look like, so you’re still waiting on him to bless you, even though the blessing is already staring you in the face. What we can both tell you is not to miss out on your blessing by allowing “self” to block Gods promise for you.

On the flip side of that, don’t force a relationship just because you’re tired of waiting, or stay in a relationship that you know is not providing you what you desire. No one wants to be 12 years a girlfriend or a boyfriend. Yes, ladies, it’s not always the man that’s the problem …sometimes we are the problem, own that! Understand when it’s time to set boundaries and or walk away from that situationship. Realize that there’s no such thing as the perfect “spouse”, so stop looking! When you find someone that is putting in the effort daily to be a woman or man of God, recognize that that’s the person that deserves your time and attention. Also, stop putting yourself in relationships that you didn’t consult God about until after you got all confused and now need guidance. Start with him first. Surrender your whole life, not just parts of it to God, yes that includes sex, we are strong advocates for celibacy! Ask God to open your heart so that you’re able to walk in HIS purpose for you. And if in the end, His purpose for your life is for you to be a husband or a wife, plan your wedding, and always keep him at the center of your marriage.