Hello December! Phil and I are excited to celebrate our very first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. I still can’t believe that at this exact time last year, I had no idea I’d be a fiancée, let alone a WIFE! Yet, here we are four months into married life! This year has been filled with lots of surprises and first for us. But along with all the fuzzy feelings and excitement has come some anxiety, as we are learning how to navigate married life, especially now that it’s the holiday season. With both of us being from two completely different parts of the country, and both having a standing tradition of spending the holidays with our families. The elephant in the room this year was, where will we spend our first Christmas as husband and wife?
Phil (The Hus-Bae) and I discussed the holidays a million times prior to getting married. I mean I literally had a complete ugly cry meltdown in premarital counseling when we touched on the holiday topic. For the past forever-ever, my family has reserved Christmas as our designated family time. I make lasagna for Christmas Eve dinner. Mom makes the best Christmas brunch this side of life, sausage and gravy, bacon, grits, biscuits, waffles, pancakes, cheesy eggs, quiche. TRUST ME, I’m drooling thinking about all of this food right now! On Christmas eve/day we all get together and cook a delicious Christmas dinner. And on Christmas night, one of my older sisters hosts the funniest holiday party, featuring the yummiest desserts. The little kids open their gifts, and we joke and laugh the night away without a care in the world, because just for this moment in time, we’re all together, as a FAMILY. It’s perfect, at least by my standards.
So as you would imagine, I’m typically super excited for the holiday season. I’m counting down the days, hours, seconds until my plane touches down on the good ole east coast and I’m home sweet home for a whole week! But this year, I have a big knot in my stomach, because we will be spending Christmas with my husband’s family.
But can I let you in on a secret, I don’t want to share Christmas with my husband’s family; this Christmas, next Christmas … or EVER. I want to dive in bed between my mum and dad in my PJ’s on Christmas morning. I want to kiss my parent’s goodnight every single night for a whole week. I want to be with MY family…..just like it’s always been. I know it sounds horrible, but it’s MY truth.
And as I sat on my sofa one evening, tears streaming down my face, mumbling about how it wasn’t fair that I wouldn’t get to spend the holiday with my family this year, there was a little ping in my heart as I realized that just as hard as it is for me to shake up my normal holiday traditions, Phillip will be making the same sacrifice as we juggle splitting our time between both of our families in the future.
While I was busily focusing on me, me, me, I had missed a really important point. It’s not just MY family or HIS family anymore, it’s OUR family. Being married for the holidays now means embracing each others family traditions in a way that allows us as a couple to create our very own in the future.
Will the holidays ever be the same? No. Will this Christmas be one of the hardest Christmases ever for me emotionally? Yes, and that’s okay. I’m totally going to ugly cry on Christmas day because I’ll be missing my family, but I’ll still be with family, not the family I’ve grown up with, but a family I will grow into. Most importantly I’m blessed to have married into a family that constantly goes out of their way to make me feel welcome because not everyone is so lucky. I don’t take that for granted.
We want to hear from you! Share your fun couple holiday ideas with us!
How did you celebrate your first Christmas as husband and wife?
If you’re newly married or engaged how will you be celebrating the holiday?
Happy Holidays!
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