Throughout the course of our relationship, my fiance, now husband and I practiced celibacy, and it had nothing to do with either of us. Matter of fact we didn’t really share this information with anyone unless they asked, or it came up in a discussion of some sort. I know you’re probably wondering “What the heck do you mean it had nothing to do with either of you?!! Then why the heck did you do it?”
Let me rewind for a few moments and throw out some disclaimers. One we’re not perfect. Secondly, we’re also not about to be that 2.5 second married couple that now has all of the advice on how to date to find a mate. CUT IT. But what we will do is share bits and pieces of our story here and there, and if you learn something…..good for you. No seriously, good for you like in non-sarcastic way. Moving on.
So fast forwarding this story a little bit . Phil ( the Hus-bae) and I are at church on Sunday when someone walks up to us to congratulate us on getting married (we had a surprise wedding …and that’s a story for another time). In the same breath this individual says with a big smile and meaning absolutely no harm, “Feels good to not have to get up in church on Sundays and repent huh?” Followed by a nice pat on the back to the both of us as they sauntered away. Blink, Blink. Like really, that’s what my eyes were doing as they rolled uncontrollably in my head. I’m a Christian, but I cuss a lil bit, so I almost cussed, but remembered I was in the Lords house. Don’t be like me, be better than me, and don’t use foul language in our out of the Lords house. Mmkay. Moving on.
After regaining my composure, I had so many thoughts running through my head. The major one being, did this individual think that we ever thought it was okay to play with our faith that way? What a dangerous thought process. And this is where we get back to the part of Phil and I practicing celibacy throughout our relationship and it NOT having anything to do with either of us.
Phil is the first and only guy that I’ve ever dated that shared the same religious beliefs and values that I do. We both come from similar family backgrounds, his father is an elder and I’m a PK aka. preachers kid. PLEASE, hold your jokes about PK kids, I know what just went through your head. My parents had always encouraged my siblings and I to date “in the church” but somehow this never resonated well with me. In all honesty, the type of guys that I found myself attracted to seemed to be non-existent in the church. The church dating pool seemed to consist of 40+ year old balding men with kids as old as I was. Hard pass.
So when I met this 20 something year old young man at church, who not only attended church on Sunday mornings, but on Sunday evenings, and mid-week bible classes, and not only was he just “attending”, but was also heavily active in ministries. I was pleasantly surprised. A little while after we started dating, Phil mentioned how refreshing it was to finally date someone that you didn’t have to explain why you had to be at church on certain days, or listen to complaints about how long you were going to be there, because for once that someone was right there with you. And those words were the reasoning behind why we chose to approach each other, and our relationship much differently than any other relationships from our past.
You see suddenly we began to pray differently. We became more intentional about our relationship with each other and God. It was no longer about Phil or Gigi, it was about how we could use our interactions with each other to help each other grow spiritually. It wasn’t about setting an example for anyone else, but instead for each other. This sex free way of dating helped us to see each other for who we really were. We grew to love and respect each other versus loving and lusting each other. We learned to properly communicate and express ourselves when we had differences, versus sexing them away. So when it came time to marry this man. I married a man that had more to offer me than “I love you’s”. I married a man that was able to offer me an I cover you, an I pray for you, I will protect you, adore you and cover you in your entirety.
While the way we approached our relationship may not be your cup of tea, I implore you to at least consider the benefits of a celibate relationship.
Gigi Powers
Pretty Is A Lifestyle 
This is so refreshing to read. I think when people see a “young” couple they just automatically assume that they are engaging in such activities. And I am especially saddened at the fact that “church folk” are the main individuals with this mindset. I explain this all the time; yes we are a young couple but one important part is missing a young CHRISTIAN couple. Temptation will happen, but like any other sin it is a conscious decision to indulge or turn away.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally Agree! I personally feel that this is something that needs to be discussed, both in and out of the church. Not to mention the ” assumptions and attitudes ” people have about the things they think you are and aren’t doing in your relationship! I was initially leery about sharing this post, but I am so thankful that people like yourself are finding it beneficial. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!
LikeLike